Fearless Abandon

I want to lift others up and give credit to others for their inspiration in my life. I want to be gracious and humble. I want to find approval inside myself as opposed to seeking approval outside myself. I want to let ideas animate my spirit and express them with a sense of fearless abandon. I want to offer those creations without protection or fear of humiliation. Some days this feels like a very tall order. For example, I've had some fear of exposure lately, feeling uncomfortably vulnerable sharing my writing. At the same time I've worried that my glass art ideas might be copied or someone may take them and make millions, or a lot of money. As prideful, weak and embarrassing as this feels to admit I'm going to look it right in the eyes. 

ew.

Those gross feelings have insightful information about myself that can be very helpful.

So I'm feeling uncomfortably vulnerable sharing my writing. Yep. I am. What I've learned and have to remind myself today is that the uncomfortable, sometimes terrifying, feeling is completely human. It's normal. I've learned that's what happens when I share my writing. It sometimes feels like vomiting in front of people then standing there with it as people look at your mess. And trust me, if you've put your creations out in public, chances are you've gone through "my art is not good enough." If anyone is reading this who struggles with sharing their art, I want you to hear this: It's normal to feel like your art is not good enough. Most every artist feels this way, even the most renowned. 

So, I remind myself of that exact thing today. And I still feel uncomfortable. And I share my writing anyway. I do it anyway. I do it feeling scared, vulnerable and uncomfortable. That's the process.  

Now I think about the other pebble in my shoe; the fear of someone stealing my ideas. Hmmmm. As I unpack this, first I remind myself that they aren't my art ideas. I've adopted the belief from Liz Gilbert (author of Eat, Pray, Love) that ideas have a life of their own and have chosen to engage with me. Yep, kind of woo-woo-witchy, I know. An idea comes to me, breathes into me and animates my spirit. If I choose to, I'll live with it and create something that is unique to my experience with that idea. My creation may resonate with someone else and that person may entertain the idea and create something of their own from their unique experience. 

In real time I'm repositioning my perception. Instead of thinking that I'm sharing my art and someone could copy and receive the benefit, I am thinking this: I'm living with an idea and expressing it in my own way with my creations. After I create I let go of the creation to be what it needs to be. If it inspires someone else, I'm passing on the life of an idea to animate the spirit of a fellow-traveler. With this perception I can create and offer my art with an open, generous spirit. It's in that creating process that I feel alive and free.

These issues don’t just go away, they come back around. And around. Each time I deal with them directly and honestly, it becomes more natural to reframe my thinking. Read about another time I was dealing with this same spirit of scarcity and how I processed it.