Abundance

I dated a man who was a sculptor. At that time he was finishing one sculpture and had ideas brewing for his next. The message of the next piece was to be a provocative question surrounding guns. He would need parts and pieces of guns for his work. I enlisted myself as a fellow scavenger. 

Since it wasn't typical to find gun parts readily for sale at antique shops and resale stores, especially in California, I was going to ask some people I knew to help me out. I asked my boyfriend if he minded that I told people what his art piece was going to be, I didn’t want to give away his idea.

When I asked him if I could tell people his idea, he looked at me questioningly. This look was quite common between us due to a language barrier, but this time he had understood exactly what I was asking. I was being protective of his idea and was fearful to share it with others. He told me in his own words that ideas don't belong to him. Ideas are not to hoard and protect, their purpose is connection. If ten people have the same idea their expression will come out differently based on the individuality and unique talents of the artist. He said to tell anyone and everyone, the more thought provoking art existing in the world, the better. 

This perspective blew my mind. I had been operating from a spirit of scarcity, thinking there were not enough ideas for everyone and that only one person could successfully execute an idea. His answer shot holes through the foundation of my understanding (to use a gun metaphor). If I had had a beard I would surely have been rubbing my chin in deep thought. Having no beard, I instead sat down like The Thinker and asked him to repeat himself. I was an enthralled student.

This new perspective changed my whole outlook on ideas and art, on fear versus love; protection versus generosity. It was "just" a perspective shift that day, then I started to notice when I was making decisions based on fear as opposed to love, when I was protecting versus being generous. The difference it made was astounding. Not that it was easy. It was hard. And the feelings of fear were still there. I had to be aware that I was feeling fear then consciously choose to act from a place of love and generosity. I still struggle with it. I still operate from fear at times. It takes effort to change perspectives and actions. 

What I've learned from operating out of a spirit of abundance is that there is so much freedom. Freedom of expression without the constriction of fear that I have to finish this idea before someone else does or get properly credited for the idea. There is freedom of releasing my art into the world without the concern of acceptance because one idea has as many ways to be expressed as there are people, and my tribe will connect with my art and it doesn't matter if many people don't connect and don't like it. There is freedom to enjoy the process of creating without the drive for comparison because it is not a competition for one artist to win. Every artist can be good in their own way. Three similar artists can stand beside each other and all can be amazing. 

I've found that what I tend to be in the little things, I am in all things. For example, if I'm operating from a sense of fear in my art, that fear stems from something deeper than my art. It stems from the spirit of scarcity. From that foundation of scarcity I see life, not just art, with limited opportunity (I need to fight for my place), limited approval (I need to be noticed over others), limited winners (I have to be the best), limited talent (if others are better, I have no chance), etc. Living in that spirit generates fear, competition, feeding ego and deciding I've lost before I even try when I see others with talent. 

In contrast, the spirit of abundance in life looks like being confident in my own uniqueness, standing fully in my own being, following my instincts, speaking my truth, releasing my art into the world, encouraging myself and others, celebrating myself and others, connection with self and others, empathy for myself and others, asking for support and supporting others. Doesn't that feel expansive just thinking about it?! It's so beautiful, strong and wild. 

May we all be beautiful, strong and wild.